We feel the Lord impressing upon us that His plan for us is to home school. This is big because my husband went to private Christian school, and I was in the public schools, and we just assumed we would use one of the same methods, but the Lord is showing us that He wants us to do something different. While my husband's mom is supportive as she sees this as us doing the best we can for our daughter, the rest of our family is either un-supportive or outright resistant. They sight socialization as concerns or view this as us just trying to be rebels and do things differently because we like to do things differently (I think this refers to how we live as Christians, but am not sure, it might just refer to us not doing things precisely as that family member would like).
So how do you handle this lack of family support?
We do not have a good model for home schooling, no one we know does it. So we are just feeling around right now. Our daughter is 28 months, so we read a lot, are doing BSF together which means we are learning hymns together as well as scripture memory. We also have our morning Bible reading time and are working on the Children's Catechism which is a simple version of the Westminster Catechism.
What other ideas do you have for us?
What curriculum companies / publishers would you recommend checking out?
And finally, what would your best advice be to us?
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23 comments:
Well, I don't homeschool and I'm not sure if we will so I can't offer many curriculum recommendations. But I've stumbled upon many bloggers that do homeschool. I'm sure they have ideas for you.
As for the unsupportive family, just stand your ground and keep your responses consistent. They'll get over it!
Good luck!
My husband reminds me, when I feel like we are alone in this homeschool journey, that we are not doing it for the praise of men, but to glorify God.
As for curriculums, when I first began to research, 8 yrs. ago, I gleaned a lot from Mary Pride's Big Book of Home Learning. It basically summarized every type of homeschool method and curriculum choice. It's probably dated by now, but it would give you an idea of whether you are more comfortable with unschooling or classical education, for instance. Then, you could research further from there.
i think you are on the right track. first, your daughter is so young that you have plenty of time to pray about your family's attitude. and second, they will see the proof of your efforts.
when i first started hoemschooling i know a lot of my family thought i was crazy. not many voiced this though, but through the years i have had many of them say to me that they can see a difference in my children and they are glad i chose this path.
congratulations on your decision. i don't think you'll ever regret it!
We had family members who were not supportive of our homeschooling, to say the least! Seven years later, they are with the program. The success of the kiddos was the deciding factor.
You are accountable for your children. Not your family. Love them but follow your own path.
Since your dd is only 28 months, you have plenty of time to do the research. I come from a family of teachers, so we putting off telling my folks as long as possible. That said, their biggest concern was socialization, not education. Our dd never met anyone should couldn't talk to. She is almost 7 and is taking piano, horseback riding, history co-op, geography class, art classes, and goes to park day and story time at the library. Our problem isn't socialization, it's fitting in school. ;) Start looking around and see what's available in your area. The best place to start is the library. Since homeschooler use the library ALOT, librarians can usually point you in the right direction. Try your local homeschool store or teacher supply. There are also tons of free and cheap websites. At this stage, I really wouldn't spend any money on a curriculum. Google homeschooling and spend a few days (weeks) reading the replies. See if your library carries The Well Trained Mind, Homeschooling for Free, and a few other books.
Have fun.
Ellen
We have always homeschooled our 3 girls, ages 8, 5 and 2. I would encourage you to stay strong in your convictions, even if your family doesn't understand or agree. It doesn't mean it will be easy for you or them, but as Christians we are not promised an easy path, are we?
I would seek out homeschool support groups in your area and visit their meetings - most meet monthly and will usually allow you to attend a couple of meetings before requiring membership.
Curriculum is a very personal issue and should be focused on your child's learning style - hands on? visual? etc. There are great books out there to help you determine your child's learning style. Then you can focus on the curriculum you think would best suit the learning style and incorporate how you'd like to teach - unit studies, workbook focused, unstructured, classical, etc.
A great resource for all things homeschool related (and I even use this for great education gifts) is Rainbow Resource (www.rainbowresource.com) - request a catalog because the site is too overwhelming to search if you are new to all of the homeschool thing. The catalog allows you to browse by topic and it is much easier to absorb and get a feel for what is out there.
Also, there is a homeschool blogger platform (www.homeschoolblogger.com) where homeschoolers tend to blog - you could read through many and perhaps find some in your area that could offer assistance.
Finally, be sure to understand the homeschool laws for your state by going through the Homeschool Legal Defense Association - www.hslda.org.
Blessings as you make your decisions!
I highly Recommend Little Hands to Heaven. I am using this with my 2 & 4 Yr. old, and we love it. You can view the entire first unit on the website and they just opened a message board yesterday.
http://www.heartofdakota.com/little-hands.php
Do what God is leading you to do, and He will take care of the rest!
I second Little Hands to Heaven....
Oh...and you are already homeschooling. You and your daughter are learning together.
See my blog and look down the left side for "Great Preschool Resources". I posted about other options for preschool.
Pray and ask God. He WILL lead you!
We also got the "your kids won't be properly socialized" line, to which we always responded, "Why would we want our kids to be socialized by 'the herd' in the classroom?" I distinctly remember the unsavoury information and misinformation that I picked up in school, and I really didn't want our children being 'educated' by their classmates! Socialization is the process whereby children learn how to behave in society - what better place for this than the godly home? The process of socialization also requires that children learn how to get along and be comfortable with all age groups, not just the artifically segregated class of children all the same age. BTW, our critics were all silenced when they saw how well our children turned out - polite, respectful, not deadbeats or into recreational drugs, and seeking to follow the Lord with their whole lives. So, go ahead, follow God's leading, and don't worry about the hard time they give you - you WILL be vindicated in the end, by the way your children turn out, and more importantly, by the Lord! Oh, and I agree with myfriendconnie about Mary Pride's Big book of Home Learning - it helped us to figure out what style of schooling and curriculum suited our family - excellent resource!
www.letteroftheweek.com
That was the best preK program we could find. After you learn the HOWs and WHATs of teaching prek, you won't need a curriculum. This site has several wonderful booklists, and it goes over the concepts your kid needs to know for first grade.
If you want something more curriculum-y, go with Little Hands to Heaven in a year or so and follow it up with My Father's World Kindergarten (www.mfwbooks.com)
Overall, you have at least one year before preschool is necessary. Read. Read. Read. At least one picture book a day. Make a reading time in your day. Snuggle up with a book. A true love for literature goes a long way toward learning to read.
Play games.
Spend time outside.
Listen to all kinds of music.
Learn to really look at things like paintings and cicada shells.
ENJOY yourselves.
As for the family, we ignore ours. We'll answer their questions. We only talk about positive progress and fun things we've done with our friends. The mantra is "We believe that this is best for OUR family." If they get too bossy, we retreat to the mantra, and they stop asking questions. We rarely say anything negative about other schools, even though our local schools are terrible.
I don't know if that is helpful or not, but there is it anyway. :)
You've gotten so good feedback so far!
I'm on my 3rd year of semi-homeschooling. We didn't start off down this path, we started off with private Christian school. My family thought we were nuts for trying to homeschool. My MIL is a retired public school teacher and had some bad experiences with homeschooled kids. We found a school in our area, that offers a 2 day a week school. My girls go to school 2 days and are home 3 (hince the semi-homeschooling). My family was much more supportive of this type of education and now my MIL is my biggest supporter. But, in the end you have to do what the Lord is calling you to do.
My advice is just don't tell them you're thinking about homeschooling. You've got time to do your research and prepare your case. If in a few years you still feel the Lord leading you, you'll have years of research and information to back up your case. They will see how serious and commited you are and after some time, they will be more supportive. But, if anyone asks, I would just say "we're still researching our options" and leave it at that!!!
Good Luck and come read my blog if you want more information on semi-homeschooling (too much to write here).
I also use www.heartofdakota.com curriculum. The biggest thing you can do is start reading to educate yourself. Then you will have facts to back up your decision. Also, keep your mouth shut. Your family does not know you want to homeschool. I've learned this the hard way. They'll figure it out later. Let them know this is your child and that your feel the best way to fullfill God's command to teach your children when you rise up, etc (Deuteronomy, sorry can't remember the rest right off) is to homeschool. At least your husband is right there with you supporting you. That's the most important.
Re: socialization - why would you want your daughter to be a socialist?
That's my response.
We do Montessori at home, and I bought a book called "Alphabet ThemeA Saurus" which has activities, songs, cards, etc. for each letter of the alphabet.
28 months is young for a formal curriculum though. I like the Montessori approach, which has specific exercises for children called "practical life" - like pouring water from a pitcher to a glass, stringing beads, etc. that train the muscles for writing later but are useful for the toddler now.
A lot of people LOVE Five in A Row, but I've never used it.
You might try www.first-school.ws for ideas and activities.
www.homeschool.gomilpitas.com is an awesome resources with links.
Shoot me an email if you ever need encouragement! Everybody thought (and still does) we are nuts for doing homeschool.
Try www.preschoolexpress.com. This website is a "curriculum" all by itself. My daughter loves the songs that are to the tunes of old favorites. The art project don't require a lot of preplanning, it's stuff we have lying around the house.
We've just finished homeschooling last June after many years. It was an incredibly blessing in our family's life and really became part of a bigger vision for our family. I agree with many of the commenters that fitting school in is the problem, because there are so many activites available which provide many many opportunities for socialization. By the way, socialization is developed in a meaningful way for homeschoolers. By that I mean that they can speak with anyone, any age. They are NOT peer dependent, and seemingly unable to talk to anyone outside of their age group as so many "regular" kids today are. For our children that has proved a huge blessings as they are now young adults and are at college and working part time and are comfortable talking to anyone.
In practial terms, I would suggest you go to your area homeschooling association and start finding out everything you can from them. Attend the next homeschooling conference in your area and start seeking out homeschoolers to talk with and seek advice from. Most families are very happy to share their experiences.
Blessings to your family on this very wonderful journey!
I'm a first year homeschooling mom and I can tell you that this hasn't stopped since the moment I told people about our decission to homeschool. Its something differnt and not the normal and what is that famous saying "whats differnt scares people" My way of dealing with it, is to just embrace it. I am differnt and you may not like my decissions but they are my children and this is my family and my and the Lord knows whats best for them... that is the joy of being a mother!
Good luck and stop on by my blog if ya ever want to chat!!!!
Cee
We've home schooled for seven years (the girls spent 3/4 of a year at a charter school last year out of necessity, but otherwise, all they've ever done is home schooling). Each family has to follow their own call, and if they do that, God will bless whatever schooling they choose.
We've had a lots of quizzical looks and comments (I even had a junior higher that I chaperoned on a church outing tell me I shouldn't be home schooling because my kids would turn out weird! Yes, and you, young lady, are apparently the model of proper social skills for being so disrespectful!). The key is to not let them sink in. You are your child's parent and you are in charge.
We have never had issues with socialization. In fact, I think our girls are much better at socializing with kids of all ages, and most certainly adults (see junior high anecdote, above). They have been involved in sports, dance, music lessons, CBS (similar to BSF), church activities, etc. In addition to that, they have learned how the adult world of banks and grocery stores and DMVs and all that jazz works (or doesn't, in the case of the DMV!). My stock answer when cornered about socialization is that, in the adult world, we don't spend our days in a group of thirty people whose birthday is within a year of our own. So the public school is a unique environment that doesn't really model the world at large.
The proof will be in the pudding, as your child grows and the doubters see that she is thriving. It will take a few years, of course, but they'll see. And in the meantime, you have to stick to what you're called to do (even if that changes, and God chooses public or private school for you!).
As for curriculum, we have tried several and have settled on K12 (www.k12.com). It's secular, but our girls' teachers are Christians! Hee, hee.
Socialization....ha! I have five kids, ages 9-7 months; my children get more proper socialization in a day than school kids get in a month. Never in an adults' life will they be placed in a situation where they spend 7 hrs. a day, 5 days a week with a group of 30+ people their own age. In the work force, at church, and in social situations, there will be people who are older (and wiser) than you, people who are younger than you and look up to you, and there will be age-level peers. You need to know how to interact and converse will all of these people, not just ones your own age with the same interests as you.
I've been homeschooling for five years, and the proof is in the pudding. If your family doesn't approve now, they will someday. My mil didn't approve of my breastfeeding my oldest son, but later became my biggest cheerleader, bragging to her family members about how my son was so healthy. In the same way, she didn't approve of homeschooling at first, and neither did my mom, but after a few years (and some impressive Latin recitations, lol), they became supportive. Most of the time, people fear the unknown, and if they don't know a successful homeschooling family, they have a fear of something not going right. You have plenty of time to do the research and choose a method that works best for your family. Spend as much time as possible enjoying your child while she's little, and don't focus on the academics until around age five or six. Remind yourself over and over that education is supposed to be about the love of learning, not the love of achievement. My highest goal is to teach my children to think for themselves, and find out what they need to know in a fearless fashion. I don't want them to be scraed of something just because they don't know anything about it. If you are constantly learning and trying new things yourself, your children will catch on and love to learn new things too.
We have been preparing our families for our decision to home school since our son was born. He will start next year. Although they were not supportive at first, most have come around and even become advocates for the process. They can see this is something we feel God is asking us to do for our family and we are certainly not judging those who go the public school route. I think that is why people tend to become defensive about public schools. They act as if we think they are poor parents for going that route when it couldn't be further from the truth.
As for socialization: ugh. That is THE biggest debate about home schooling. I have to do more retraining after my children spend a day with peers. I have to teach them not to hit, not to take things from each other. I have to remind them we don't pretend to shoot each other and that teasing is NOT tolerated in our home.. etc. These are not things my children pick up when they are spending the day with me and being exposed to adults. Our goal is to raise functioning adults. What better way to do that than to expose them to functioning adults?
I haven't fully decided but we are leaning toward My Father's World for their first curriculum. You have some great suggestions here.. I might even check some of these out myself! Good luck and keep us posted on your decisions..
Hello Mrs. Pear,
I am sorry you are having to deal with many unsupportive family members. Thank goodness for one well wisher, though.
George & I do not have children, so we of course, do not homeschool but I would like to share one thing to encourage you:
One of George's favorite sayings is "It is none of your business what others think of you". It is difficult for me to think this way at times, but he is right.
You and your husband are under obligation to what you believe the Lord would have you do in raising your children. Don't let discouragers get you down, or cause doubts. Follow God.
Your family just might be the first in a long line of homeschoolers in extended family. Once they see the fruits of your labour, they might want to educate their own children!
Blessings,
Trixie
First of all I don't homeschool and don't feel I would be qualified to. But if you really feel strongly about it and feel like you would do a good job, I say go for it. I am sure you can find a lot of good information on the internet about cirriculums and from bloggers who homeschool. Your kids can be socialized as long as you have them do some extra-cirricular activites such as sports, arts and crafts or anything else they are interested in. There are a lot of community activities that they can participate in. As far as family support, if you really feel like you want to do it, you just have to do it without their blessing. It is your family and you need to do what you feel is right. Eventually most of them will probably come around and support you, but if they don't, that is their problem. Not yours. Good luck.
If you feel you are being led to homeschool by the Lord, then DO IT! Pray daily and ask the Lord to guide you. Homeschooling is the hardest thing I've ever done.. but the reward is worth it.
And remember.. the only wrong way to homeschool is by not doing it.
HUGS
You have gotten some wonderful advice here. I agree, the curriculum must fit the child. I researched online before I purchased anything.
Early education specialists tend to recommend curriculum with an emphasis on hands-on learning which is deemed developmentally appropriate for young children. My child was the exception, he took a real dislike to hands-on learning, so we went straight to desk work which he loves.
We used Rod & Staff, Five In A Row(modified), and free online resources like Enchantedlearning.com and dltk.com.
I'm biased, but I think you are making a wonderful decision if you homeschool. It's a lifestyle which brings everyone closer to each other and to God.
Socialization is a non-issue. School is for learning, not socializing. We have plenty of opportunities for the children to interact with others after school.
If you even have any questions, feel free to ask, and I'll try to help if I can. :)
Family support can sometimes be elusive. It's often a journey that you take apart from them. A journey away from extended family values. As long as your husband is onboard, that's all that matters. Pray, turn it over to God. You'll find your strength in God.
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