Someone Else's Home

As I mentioned earlier this week, we are very discouraged with trying to sell our home, and really have had quite enough of this! A lovely agent called Monday or Tuesday night to show our home, and after I hung up from arranging an appointment, I wanted to call back and cancel. I don't want to show our home any more. I am done.

I am done because this whole time we have been on the market (since September! There have been governments who have lasted less time than we have been on the market!) I have felt like I am living in someone else's home.

I am afraid to start any real projects - like really organizing that guest room closet - because I am convinced I will get everything out and someone will knock on our door!

I am loath to start major baking projects or multiple baking projects because as soon as the kitchen is at its worst, someone will knock on our door!

I am constantly cleaning up Miss Pear's things because I don't want to be so far behind that I cannot tidy up in 15 minutes or less!

I stick to my housekeeping schedule out of paranoia rather than a sincere desire to bless my family. Even Tuesday, on three hours sleep I stripped our bed (including mattress and pillow covers, after all, it is the first week of the month), washed it all, and remade it, changed our towels, changed Miss Pear's crib and bathroom towels, dusted both rooms, cleaned both bathrooms and swept the kitchen floor....all after hosting a play date! I think I am slowly losing it here!

I pulled out material to cut in order to make napkins. Miss Pear woke up, and one of the first things I did, after greeting her, changing her, etc, was to put the fabric away!

My sweet mother-in-law gave me Christmas money, some of which I used to buy the Edwardian apron pattern and material, and I have gotten as far as cutting the pattern, nothing else! After all, there is the mess of cutting the material, then I have to open up my sewing machine, and what if someone calls! Then there is the material for the new place mats, napkins and apron, all matching, that I have been meaning to make since September - still in the bag. Then there is the material to line Miss Pear's toy basket, also still in the bag.

I think I am living on hold...not good.

But I really can only describe how I am feeling about all this by saying that I feel like I am living in someone else's home and they are expected home any moment!

But yet, I know that God has a plan in play - a good one! One I am going to look back on and go, "Wow, guess it was all worth it!" I know this, and am very confident it is true. And so I pray for the fulfillment of His plan, and for faith and confidence in Him to get through this. Did I mention that my most frequent prayer right now is, "Please help me Lord, I cannot do this!" Knowing full well that He can.

My mother-in-law is coming down for two weeks the end of this month, and by golly we are going to get some of these projects done!

We can do it, because if someone calls there are two of us to do the mad dash tidy......

Although in the mean time, we are again fighting discouragement. Our agent wants us to cut our price...again. And the other two town homes for sale in our complex are going to sell as they have offers pending against them. We are definitely in need of a miracle.

Miss Pear is very sick with a cold today, and someone wants to see our home at 3:00....so here we go again....