Reflections on the Cross

Maybe it is just me, but usually this time of year, the season of Lent, I purposely spend time thinking about the cross. The Lord often, but not always, leads me to fast something - in the past it has been anything from pizza, to fiction books, to meat on one day of the week. This year Mr. Pear and I are reading William Barclay's wonderful book "We Have Seen the Lord!: The Passion and Resurrection of Jesus Christ (William Barclay Library)" and are just loving it! I have been so blessed by many of the readings, and am learning so many new things!

Any way, this time of year has me intentionally focusing on the cross.

Most of the time I seem to look at it from the perspective of what Jesus did for us. Of the sacrifice He made, of the pain He endured. I seem to look at the cross only from the Son's perspective. And I am overwhelmed, and cannot even begin to comprehend the love, the sacrifice, the pain.

This year has me looking at the cross from the Father's perspective, and my heart breaks. We did not give up our child willingly. Had I know what was going on I would have fought with every weapon I had to save my child! It would have been face to the floor in prayer time. My heart stops when Miss Pear hurts herself. The day she tripped and banged her head on the entertainment unit I was okay while trying to sooth her and totally focused on what she needed until I realized she would be okay, then I LOST IT! It was horrible! I had no idea what it was like to have your heart walking around in a little person before I was a mom!

Now that I am a mom, and I have unwillingly lost a child who was very real to us even though he never breathed a breath, I cannot comprehend how the Father did it. How He endured it. How He made the sacrifice. How He accepted the sacrifice.

I always looked at the cross from the perspective of Jesus, and I missed a whole dimension of it, I missed the dimension of the sacrifice of the Father, and I just cannot even begin to fathom it.

I know one thing. I will never look at the cross again, and there is yet more spiritual stuff I am aware that I will never fully comprehend.