First Lenten Friday

My husband grew up in a church tradition that celebrated Lent exhaustively. I grew up in a tradition that gave it a wink and a nod. But we have both learned something very important about it through the course of our marriage together as we explore together.

Lent is important not because of the ritual, and not because of the encouraged rules, in fact, if this is as far as you get it is nothing but a man made exercise.

Lent is important to me for two key reasons in my mind. The first is that it helps me prepare my heart and my mind to truly mourn and fully celebrate the sacrifice and victory of our Lord Jesus. The second is that it helps to build up my walk with the Lord while purging that which should be purged.

This year we are honoring the old tradition of being meatless on Fridays. Of course, this tradition does allow fish, eggs, and dairy.

So last night I made a meal of marinara sauce (tripled, in the slow cooker, with a huge can of tomatoes I bought at Costco for less than $3) and yummy bread sticks. A meal of no meat was supposed to mark some kind of sacrifice. Some kind of offering to the Lord. And yet, as we ate our meal of pasta and breadsticks, I could not help but be incredibly humbled. This was not truly a sacrifice. Our tummies were filled, the food was excellent. We did not miss the meat. But my mind noted the sacrifice, my heart measured, found the sacrifice wanting and broke. No matter what we fast to the Lord, no matter what we sacrifice in His honor, nothing will ever truly be sufficient, nothing truly enough.

And then I remembered this verse:

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7 NKJV

My heart dearly desired to bless and honor the Lord, and so He was.

Streams in the Desert

A dear friend gave me a copy of the updated version of the classic devotional Streams in the Desert by L. B. Cowman, and it has been a great blessing to me. We often email with little more than the date we were reading saying that you MUST read it!

Today I was reading February 24 (I am not sure which I am more humiliated about, the fact that I was so far behind that I skipped ahead, or that when I skipped ahead I stopped 2 days early....)

If you have this, you HAVE to read Feb 24!

It was written just for me! Special message to encourage me. Really! Okay, maybe not, but it sure felt like it.

Let me just share a portion of it with you...

Perhaps you are very dissatisfied with yourself. You are not a genius, have no distinctive gifts, and are inconspicuous when it comes to having special abilities. Mediocrity seems to be the measure of your existence. None of your days are noteworthy, except for their sameness and lack of zest. Yet in spite of this you may live a great life.

John the Baptist never performed a miracle, but Jesus said of him, "Among those born of women there is no one greater" (Luke 7:28). His mission was to be "a witness to the light" (John 1:8), and that may be your mission and mine. John was content to be only a voice, if it caused people to think of Christ.

Be willing to be only a voice that is heard but not seen, or a mirror whose glass the eye cannot see because it is reflecting the brilliant glory of the Son. Be willing to be a breeze that arises just before daylight, saying, "The dawn! The dawn!" and then fades away.

Do the most everyday and insignificant tasks knowing that God can see....

(emphasis mine)

No matter how brilliant or gifted we are we all have days where we feel like this, I think more so if we are homemakers and moms. And I have to tell you, this may become my motto for the next while. That, and:

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men.
Colossians 3:23 NKJV

Full Circle

On the morning Baby was put into her harness for her hip dysplasia treatment I could not think - how to dress her, how to swaddle her, even how to hold her and nurse her! It was so completely overwhelming that I could not think. And truth be told, I am not sure my sweet husband was fairing much better.

But as we were preparing to leave, another mom came to see us. They had been through this, and their daughter was in the follow up phase - no harness, just check ups. She came in and assured me that as much as this sucked, we could do it, and then she started giving me tips on how to dress and care for Baby.

Last Wednesday I said something I did not anticipate saying anytime soon to our doctor. I said that if he had another family just starting down this road that I would be more than happy to talk to them, to encourage them, to help them in the right direction. He smiled, and assured me he would offer that to another family.

I did not think the day would come, certainly not this soon!

But let me tell you what I will tell that family should I get the chance, just in case it helps.

1. Yup, this really, really, really sucks. No question. But it could be worse, you could not be doing this. In most cases, if treatment is required children do not just outgrow this, in most cases it would get progressively worse without treatment. This sucks, but by doing it you are making sure you do everything for your child to have a healthy life.
2. Do what the doctors tell you - if you listen, in almost all cases the treatment works.
3. Holding is tough, we usually hold baby diagonally across our body with one arm across her back and one arm between the legs. Or her back against our chest with her sitting on one arm and the other across her tummy to hold her up.
   
4. Diapering is hard. As soon as you finish the diapers you have, go up at least 1 size. It is not really needed, but it sure makes life easier. And the trick is to lace the tab through the back strap and them as you pull it through the front strap open the velcro. Yes, you will velcro the diaper to the harness, but that's okay, it gets easier and is easily fixed. And you will have a blow out that gets the harness dirty, just do your best to wipe it with wet cloths.
   
5. Dressing is not as hard as it seems. Go up at least 1 size. Baby was just moving into the 3-6 month size and we went straight to the 6-9 and 6-12 month clothing. Look for generous leg holes (Baby Gap, Gymboree, and Children's Place are great, Carters is tight in the legs) Our baby lived in onesies and socks with a blanket wrapped around her.
6. Swaddling is difficult at first. Best advice is to go to the sewing store and buy 1 and a quarter yard lengths. Zigzag or serge the edges. Place baby in the middle of one side with just the head above the blanket. Bring the left top corner and tuck it under the right hip, right top corner and tuck it under the left hip. Flip up the bottom and tuck it around so that the lets stay loose and can kick. Your baby will alternately look like a 3 point star and a triangle. It really works. When baby is awake I swaddle her with her arms out. We went through the coldest months of the year and she was warm. This tip alone pretty much saved my sanity!
   
7. Nursing is awkward at first. Because the knees cannot come in, hold your baby against your tummy and support your elbow with a pillow. This one just takes practice.
8. Bathing is tough! Just do your best with a wet face cloth. You can keep your baby clean that way. Watch the folds in the hips and under the knees. Sensitive wipes work best as the liquid is more like lotion so will soak in rather than leave irritation.
   
9. The most important thing I would tell them though is that it really does get easier. Most people will not understand why this is so hard and why you are so overwhelmed, they will not get it. But know that feeling that way is completely honest and understandable. It is never really easy, but it does get easier.
10. When you start getting time out of the harness you will have forgotten how to do things "normally". Try not to laugh too hard at yourself, just enjoy it.
11. It really could be worse, you could not be doing this, and that would be bad. In most cases this does not go away without treatment, it just gets worse. So try to hang in there, and remind yourself of this as that is what I told myself on all the days when it was so hard I just wanted to quit. When I was so frustrated and overwhelmed and brokenhearted that I just wanted to sit down and cry...not that I didn't cry, I did plenty of that.
12. Lastly, I would tell the family to be gentle with themselves. It really is a big deal and you cannot expect yourself to do everything perfectly even once things settled down. This will always be draining, so cut yourself a lot of slack and be gentle to yourself.

We probably have 6 weeks left of harness treatment, and we started on December 8. I won't lie to you, this has not been fun. But through it I have realized a lot of blessings that I would otherwise have missed, like realizing the joy of how much closer we can snuggle when the harness is off, and laughing at myself when I put Baby in the car seat for the first time out of her harness last week and had to stop and think about how to do it "normally."

Shifting Priorities

There was a time that I loved to watch the Oscars - the glamor, the movies I had seen, the fun.

But what does it say when one of the Grandmas called to tell us that Miss Pear's favorite movie - Wall-E - had one it's category. It was the only movie in the entire Oscar line up that I knew. In fact, not only do I know it, I know the shorts on the DVD and have downloaded many a coloring page.

I could not tell you who won what or who looked the best, I have no idea.

8 hours!

We were at the pediatric orthopedic surgeon with Baby yesterday and she is now officially allowed 8 HOURS A DAY out of her harness! It is so wonderful!

Today we went to a birthday party and it felt surreal to put her into the car seat without her harness on, I had to stop and think about how to do it and make some minor adjustments! I had to stop and think how to buckle a car seat "normally!"

She met new people who had no idea there was anything going on with her and commented on her nice chubby legs - you could actually SEE THEM!

I went through all her clothes that were out, and that were still boxed in the current sizes and organized again to what we can wear! It was so great! Pants are still out because in putting them on you have to pull the knees together, but jump suits that open up all the way like sleepers are okay, and we have a couple of those, so they got put into rotation too!

It never occurred to me how much I just took for granted and assumed that was the way it always is because it isn't, and now that those simple pleasures are being offered to us again, it is almost overwhelming and wonderful.

We go back on March 9.

Oh, and we have a long weekend starting tomorrow, so I will be off having fun with my family!

Listen to the Cookie

This weekend we ordered Chinese food in, actually, my mother-in-law did, and it was delicious!

As always we divvied up the fortune cookies - not that we believe in them, but to get a good laugh, which we almost always do.

This weekend my fortune made me laugh in a wry kind of way and quip, "Thank you, captain obvious!"

It read, "You shouldn't overspend at the moment. Frugality is important."

Do you think they maybe had a whole bunch of those printed lately?

But still, the cookie had really good advice!

Parenting Gurus

No, I am most certainly not talking about us! I get out maneuvered by a 3 and a half year old regularly!

One of our favorite parenting gurus is Dr. Kevin Leman. He is very easy to read, very wise, has kids of his own, admits that he made mistakes, and is not full of himself. He makes us feel that if he can do it, most certainly we can to!

And he makes us laugh.

Recently my husband was rereading his book "What a Difference A Daddy Makes: The Indelible Imprint a Dad Leaves on His Daughter's Life." He said that since he had another daughter he better reread the book. Actually, I think this will be a book he pulls out frequently over the next few years as they seem to speak the same language with the same dry sense of humor.

Oh, you want an example?

Okay...page 200

Yelling is actually one of my spiritual gifts, second only to beeping the horn

Every time that is quoted to me I laugh like I have never heard it before, and that is only partially because I know my husband is telling me to make me laugh! (And that is a surefire way to make me laugh!) Plus, it reminds me of some of the previous generations of my family!

Baby Blues

I LOVE the Baby Blues comic strip, and once we had kids it was even funnier!

If you missed Wednesday's, and you are nursing or nursed your children, you have to read it! It can be found here!

Or am I the only one who found this hysterical???

Yup, I only post the intellectual stuff..... :-)

In which I collapse....

Mr. Pear is returning home from his business trip shortly...as in the next hour or two depending on traffic.

I can honestly say that if his mom had not been here I would be a complete mess now.

But because we had help we ran every possible errand on our list. Target, Babies R Us, CVS, Costco, groceries, Joanne's, the learning store, Borders, and Target again, it all got done.

Plus, I fixed the drain that was not working properly (nothing fancy, just some drano), and got the dishwasher cleaned up.

The dishwasher was working great until I used the Electrosol gel packs, then I got a horrible film over everything that was not really coming off. So I called the manufacturer and they said that they have been hearing that a lot, and that the new Jet Dry dishwasher cleaner (white bottle) takes care of that. It did. But is it just me or does it seem awfully convenient that the same people who made dishwasher stuff that messed up my washer also makes the stuff that cleans it?

But I digress.

I am pleased to say that all the errands are run for the month.

So now I think I will nap....

Attention Costco Shoppers

We continued our trend of running errands while Mr. Pear is away on business and we have the car all day, and this morning's trip was to Costco.

While shopping I was surprised to realize that the Costco coupons have become much better - less electronics and more food items or household items. I also have figured out that if it is at Costco with a coupon it matches or beats the best sale at the grocery stores. But two things shocked me today. One was the price for 2 gallons of no-fat milk at $3.19...for 2...at the height of the milk price escalation I was lucky to pay that for 1 (if it was on a tremendous sale)! What shocked me secondly was that they have master coupons now so if you have one from the book you automatically get them all if you have purchased those items! You don't need to clip them all! Yup, that's what excited me to day - a fabulous deal on milk and super coupons. I am SO easy to please.

This week I have also learned that if you want to save money, just stay home. As soon as you go out it just seems like you spend money...or at least I do. I had a list of errands to run as long as my arm, and while usually these are spread out, I ran them all at once so I have a bit of sticker shock.

Uncommon Blessings

There are so many things that we take very much for granted. We don't mean to, we just do because we don't even realize that it is a blessing, it is just a case of not realizing the mundane is a blessing.

In this past week as Baby has been allowed 4 hours a day out of her harness I have learned to appreciate the blessings of how easy it is to nurse without a harness on your baby, how you can snuggle so close, and how their body just wraps around you as their legs tuck in on your side! I have realized the blessing of being able to put Baby in a fleece sleeper today to play in when it is cold and damp here with a winter storm blowing through. And I have realized the blessing of our health, because even though everything is not perfect we are generally okay, and that is rare to say.

Tonight as I was trying to get both girls to sleep I realized the overwhelming blessing my husband is in helping with bedtime when both girls are ready at the same time. He blesses me in a lot of ways, but I realize that I am not always as appreciative or as aware as I really could and need to be.

More and more I am realizing that the Lord's richest blessings seem to be in the things we take for granted because that is how they always have been when it is rare to be able to say that.

So tonight as I go to bed, I am thankful for a warm bed to sleep in with nice pillows and treasured blankets. I am thankful for a roof over our heads and food for breakfast. I am thankful for a thermostat that is programed to turn the furnace on as needed to keep us warm, a furnace that works faithfully. I am thankful that as I go to bed I will check on 2 girls who love me and who I love more that I realized possible, and I will think of my husband who is away on business and miss him as I snuggle onto his side of the bed, grateful that he arrived there safely, has a job, and loves his family just as much as we love him.

Simple Blessings

So often in life we look for the big miracles, the ginormous answers to prayer, the huge mountain moving experiences.

Yet, while those happen, they are not the everyday.

If we wait for that to be thankful, to say that the Lord has heard our prayer and answered lovingly, we miss so much.

I was thinking about this while I have been sick - a strange time to be thankful when I have a whopper of a sinus cold that will not go away and sinus pressure that is making me sit and concentrate very hard on keeping my head from exploding.

Yet I see the Lord's care for me:

• my mother in law arrived just as I was getting really sick and has been taking care of everything.
• Miss Pear is happy to play with her grandma and has given me lots of hugs and drawn pictures to make me feel better.
• Baby gets time out of her harness, which is a tremendous delight
• Some friends were praying for us, and were given the strongest impression of how my God loves us, how much He appreciates our desire to know what He wants, how much our marriage honors Him, and how sweet our daughters are in His eyes.
• Strength to care for Baby during the night when I could barely make it to bed time.
• Series of rain showers coming through, which always makes me smile as I miss "weather" being in Southern California.
• Friends just checking in.
• A husband who loves me and jokingly orders me to bed to rest "or else!" (I wonder what the or else is??? knowing him probably tickles.)
• A great stash of my favorite orange tea.
• A healthy family who is not getting this bug that I did.
• My husband having a good, secure job, and even though he has to be away on business next week, we are not on our own, we have help.
  

And that is just a short list.

There is something to be said for counting our blessings.

News and stuff

Baby's time out of her harness is fabulous. She is filled with wonder at what she can do, and so are we. Yesterday, at about 8 and a half hours out of the harness she started rolling to her side. Babies in harnesses cannot do that as their legs are out to the side. She is a little floppy again without the harness to stabilize her, and but she is a little perpetual motion machine, it is so cute. We are getting the hang of the harness removal and putting it back on is a 2 person job.

Miss Pear got to eat apple pie for breakfast this morning as a reward because she FINALLY pooped in the potty. Hopefully this will be a big turning point to not needing diapers at night!

And things around here are getting caught up, even rest a little bit too with help here to let me rest when Baby does as grandma reads stacks of books and plays lots too.

Days like this...

...will be funny in about 20 years.

Baby was awake from 5 until about 6:30 this morning - unheard of for her, she is a good sleeper.

Grandma took Miss Pear to the park so I could rest - Baby woke up the minute the door closed...

At nap time, there was crying from both girls rooms. It was stereo protesting. I learned that they cry at very different frequencies, but the same loud volume.

I love being a mommy, I really do. But could the job come with ear plugs?

Recovery Rebate

Remember those stimulus checks we received in the spring last year - $1200 per couple, $300 per child? While reading at Alexandra's I discovered that if you had a child in 2008 after the checks were issued you can get an additional $300 back from the feds on your tax return! It is called the Recover Rebate Credit.

That buys a lot of diapers.

OH! Hi!

Wow - what happened to last week? Cold and flu season has been something else here, or at least cold season was, and it knocked me pretty flat with energy still being very low, but at least feeling on the mend!

But, I wanted to quickly update you on Baby, who is doing great!

Last Monday she was given a new harness, and we were able to give her a bath while we were there! It was wonderful, and she had a great time out of her harness!

At today's appointment we were given the go ahead to begin giving her 4 hours a day out of the harness. This can either be all in one block or divided up, depending on what works best for our schedule. We are thrilled! Of course, with that comes the responsibility of taking the harness off and putting it back on ourselves - no small feat! But it will be worth it.

Also, it just occurred to me, I will have to figure out what size Baby is out of the harness! She has been wearing 12 month clothing but is only 4 and a half months!

We are going to celebrate tonight by giving her a REAL bath in her little tub at home when we don't have to rush and she can play to her heart's content! Miss Pear is really happy about giving her baby a bath too!