Rainey Monday Morning

This morning began with huge grins from both my girls. Baby was just happy to see me come and get her and immediately launched into baby flirting (which I adore!). Miss Pear came running in while I was nursing baby and declared in a voice of wonder and excitement, "I hear the rain!"

It does not rain much here, and Miss Pear longs for both rain and snow. It is unlikely I can do much about having snow in her backyard for her, but today she gets rain, and you can tell she is excited - there are nose prints on all the windows and she has created a special dance in honor of the occasion.

Baby had her first follow up appointment this morning with her doctor. He was able to answer all our questions and made an adjustment to the harness. Basically we now feel equipped to answer most of our own questions. In the face of each question you must ask if it brings the knees forward or if it brings the ankles together, and if the answer is yes, then you may not do it. So we will continue to work on new nursing positions and diaper change methods. We will continue to do just do our best, pray lots and love her lots. The hardest thing to learn today was how to help her hip back into the socket if we notice it is out....Baby could not care less, Mommy's heart cracked a little at the same time her hip did.

I keep reminding myself of some important truths:

1. God is in this with us, He is not one to abandon His people!
2. God loves us, and loves Baby.
3. By doing this we are giving our girl greater health as she gets older and avoiding surgery.
4. It really could be worse so don't whine.

Okay, so the last one is kind of a "suck it up, cupcake!" thing, but still.

A Saturday Night Update

And to tell you how my brain is functioning I originally wrote Saturnight; after all, the day has passed!

I did honestly want to write you and update now that 5 and a half whole days are up to let you know how we are doing, but I am very tired, and my pillow is calling me, so instead I am going to share with you an email update I shared with other friends today, changing the names of course!

We go see the specialist again on Monday, and we have a list of questions for him!

So far things are going better than expected, and we are slowly figuring things out, finding things that work, finding clothes that fit (including socks which were an unanticipated challenge), and generally learning how to do everything all over again. We have found a new way to swaddle Baby – very important seeing as pants of any kind, including sleepers are completely out. We are finding new ways to hold her, to rock her, to comfort her and to nurse her. Things we had taken for granted were suddenly very perplexing and difficult, but we are slowly figuring them out.

Miss Pear has been a trooper through all of this. She is very concerned about Baby, and wants to do what she can to help jer, which usually includes showing her toys, gently rubbing the back of her head, and talking to her. She talks about Baby’s sandals and seems quite happy that they both wear sandals as she is at the point where she loves similarities (When Baby is dressed you can only see the straps coming out of her onesie, and down under her foot and the two straps that go around her leg at the ankle and just below the knee, so if it straps around the foot and ankle it must be sandals). (And yes, Miss Pear is wearing sandals in December - afterall, we are in Southern CA).

Baby is settling back down in her night time sleeping again (the first night she was up every 2 hours), but napping is still very hard for her. She has figured out how to kick her good leg more, so that is one thing returning to normal for her, and she seems to be adjusted to the whole thing from a movement standpoint.

It has been a long and exhausting week with lots to learn, but God has been so good to us in so many ways to encourage us, strengthen us, and provide wisdom and ideas at just the right time.

I am not sure what will happen at Monday’s appointment, except that the doctor will examine Baby, make any necessary adjustments to the harness, and hopefully have answers to all our questions. It will probably be about a month before we know if the harness is working. In cases like Baby’s there is an 80-90% chance the harness will work, and we are praying fervently that it would for Baby.

And to another friend I added:

It is weird that things that we just took for granted are now so hard. Baby and I will not be in church tomorrow because to be really honest, I have a hard time nursing her at home, in my comfy chair, with our pillow, so I cannot imagine somewhere else, with no pillow, and having to cover up! And even holding her is sometimes hard as she wants to get into her old happy spot and simply cannot with the harness.

And of all things, what is persisting to be an issue is burping. I don’t know if it is the new nursing positions or just her knees being pulled up, but Baby is having a hard time burping and needs to more than before (unless she was just able to do it better by herself before and we never noticed), and right where we would tap her back to help her is where the harness criss crosses on her back.

But you know what? Honestly?? It is not that bad. It was horrible at first to see my baby all wrapped up in these straps and Velcro, to change her diaper by threading the tabs between her body and 2 straps on each side of her. To realize that the hang nails and sores on my one thumb are not from dry skin, they are from rubbing on the Velcro changing diapers. To pack a way 3-6 month clothes that will be given away that Baby did not even wear or only wore once or twice. To realize that Baby will be in a harness longer than she has been alive. Through all the things that were hard, that hurt, that made me cry and even feel sorry for myself, I can honestly say it could have been worse.

How could it have been worse?

• If we did not have the Lord, and His help, love, comfort, wisdom, strength and encouragement it would have been worse.
• If my husband and I were not blessed with a loving spouse who was determined to do our best, and supporting each other and giving lots of hugs, it would have been worse.
  
• If we did not have family and friends praying for us, it would would have been worse.
• If Baby were our first daughter we would have had no clothes on hand in the sizes we need and would have been running all over trying desperately to find clothing that fit and maybe worked instead of just washing what we had, it would have been worse.

But you know what would have been really, really bad?

What would have been horrible is if we were not doing this.

If we were not doing this that would mean that they did not catch it. This does not go away. The degree of Baby's hip dysplasia means that she would have never just outgrown it. If this were not caught, and it was not noticed until she was 9 or 10 years old, it likely would have meant surgery.

So while we are not having a whole lot of fun, we are deeply grateful because by doing all this now Baby will never remember it, and it will help give her a long healthy life.

Saving on Meat

The weather has turned cooler here in Southern California, ushering in our version of winter. Okay, so the rest of the country would call it fall, but we take what we can get, and this is the time of year I break out those favorite winter recipes, like stew. I have been keeping my eye out for a good price on stew meat lately, and the best price I had found was about $5 a pound. Needless to say I passed on that!

This past weekend I was grocery shopping and made a point of perusing the entire meat section, and found a top of the line brand roast marked down for $1.99 a pound. That is pretty much as good as it gets on beef around here, so I scooped one up. (I was tempted to grab 2, but was determined to keep to my budget! Even the best sale is a bad sale if it does not work in your budget)

And what do I plan to do with my roast? Cut it up for stew of course! That really is all stew meat is, except it is usually the lesser cuts of meat.

I was chatting with my favorite check out lady who loves to see her customers save money, and she agreed this was the way to go, and then she said something very interesting to me. She said that at her store (a Pavilions) the family cuts of meat are selling well, so they are not being marked down as much. But the premium brands of beef are being selling poorly, so that is where to look for a deal.

Of course I could not keep this tip for myself! Hope this helps someone else!

Because I am sentimental

Monday and yesterday I did a job that really hurt. I put away all of Baby Pear's 3-6 month clothing. She had only been in them for about 2 weeks (longer for the sleepers). For a lot of reasons Baby will be the last pear added to our household, so it is time to pass things on. Some of the clothing was new to baby and only worn once or twice, a couple outfits not at all. It was hard to pack it up knowing that when she finally gets out of her harness she may even be out of the 6-9 month clothing.

We have friends due any day, and I am boxing stuff up to ship to them. If they do not have a girl I will pull out all the girl stuff for a neighbor due in February. (We did not know that Miss Pear was a girl until she was born, so we have lots of generic stuff - plus I love baby blue on girls).

But even knowing that these clothes were going to a good home it was hard.

So I am saving all my favorites, all the special ones. The outfits that:

• Miss Pear wore when we filed the final application for my green card
• Baby wore to ER and then home from the hospital
  
• both girls wore and wore and wore
• were special gifts

My plan is to make a blanket for each girl out of them. It is all knit cotton that I am saving so it will just be squares sewn together and then quilted (probably knot quilts). For the back I am going to use their receiving blankets and flannel crib sheets. At the rate I cannot part with stuff they may both end up with queen sized quilts!

I am also saving their dresses for a second quilt for each.

It is definitely making boxing stuff up and passing it on easier.

Day 2 - Moving right along

Things are going better than expected. We did have a long night last night with Baby up every 2 hours (she did not even do that as a newborn!) and when she is awake she just wants to be held, but who can blame her.

We are getting better at the diaper changes - the tabs have to be slid under 2 harness straps on each side.

We are figuring out the clothing challenges, and except for a couple convertible gowns we should have all we need, we just need to figure it out.

We have figured out sleep stuff, and my MIL is making 4 new swaddling blankets that are larger and warmer. And 2 new flannel crib sheets arrived in the mail from her today too - perfect timing!

If you are wondering what the harness looks like (a very common question we are getting), the baby in this picture is wearing the same harness as Baby, except Baby's is a very stylish pink, and is all soft straps and velcro.

Basically we are figuring it out. It may not be the easiest thing in the world to get our brains around, but it is certainly not the worst situation. And God is being so gracious to us and taking such care of us I cannot even begin to explain it.

The good news for today is that all the clothing up to 12 months has been washed (not folded, but washed), so I can now start trying stuff. (Although I will try it as I need to change Baby, not a fashion show. Changing her is hard for all of us, but especially her).

The other good news is that her napping seems to be settling back down again into her usual awake for an hour or so asleep for 45-75 minutes. I am hopeful that means she is settling back down and is not just exhausted.

Day 1 - hopefully over

So our first day of Baby in the harness is hopefully over (please Lord, let her be down for the night!) Baby seems to be starting to adapt but is not happy to have her kicking and stretching ranges limited..

The big thing today was trying to figure out how to still swaddle her so she does not bat her head and wake herself up without pressing on her legs or harness straps. We were victorious on this one.

The next big thing is trying to figure out how to dress her! She is immediately out of size 6 clothes. We think size 9 month might work, if not 12 month - I washed everything that did not need stain treatment today, that will be washed tomorrow. As far as I can tell pants appear to be completely out, and sleepers are still a question mark. It looks like long sleeved T-shirts and onesies, dresses, and those longer sleeping gowns (and those convertible gowns that can be snapped as either a pant suit or a gown) will be the order of the day, but we will keep trying to figure that out too. (By the way, do you know who is carrying the gowns and convertible gowns right now?)

I have realized that it is all a learning curve. By God's grace we are going to figure all this out, and by His strength we are going to keep moving forward.

While this is certainly not what I would have chosen, I am trusting God through this, He is always faithful, always good, and always loving.

I don't know how much I will be here this week, but I did want to pop in tonight and let you know that we are doing better than expected.

Baby Pear has a new outfit

We saw the specialist this morning, and the end result is that Baby is in a harness for a while, likely three months.

The appointment went well, we like the doctor and he talks in a way we can understand, so that helps. He said that her hip was "completely unstable" but that the harness should work. (roughly 80% of cases like this it is successful). So we have three weekly appointments scheduled, and after that we should know if the harness is working or if we need to switch to a cast.

While the harness is indeed no picnic and must not be removed (it is straps and velcro that go from the tops of her shoulders to the bottoms of her feet), it is better than a cast.

God was so good to us through this - besides the doctors. There was a mom with her 9 month old there for a check up who had gone through this, and she was able to encourage us so much through understanding our feelings and the enormity of it all and being able to speak from a compassionate "been there done that" perspective to the practical of how to cloth Baby now.

Basically Baby just got launched right out of 6 month clothing to likely 9 month, we are trying to figure it out.

So even though a lot of stuff is going to be hard - no more swaddling, no more holding her in her favorite across our body position, both of which were her favorite way to fall asleep - God is in this with us, and it is by His strength and wisdom alone that we are going to get through this.

So now I have to get back to sorting clothing to wash in larger sizes while Miss Pear is sleeping and Baby might be sleeping.

Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments and emails of encouragement and prayer. Even though I was not able to respond to all of them please know that they were of enormous comfort! Prayer is the very best gift, and truly our biggest need right now.

More Baby Pear stuff and other stuff too

So at 8AM Friday morning I was on the phone to make an appointment with a pediatric orthopedic surgeon. I only have two things to say about that: first, how sad that there actually is such a thing; and second, how wonderful that they were able to get us in Monday at 9:45.

The rest of the day seem to be monopolized between brain freeze (are you kidding? do we really need to see one of those?) and trying to get all the stuff together that we need, such as a hard copy of the test results, a referral and a hard copy of the ultrasound. While the last one was the hardest to track down because I got caught in the hospital's telephone answering loop, our daughter's pediatrician was excellent in walking us through what we needed to do. In fact, her final words to me Thursday evening were to call her if we could not get in by Monday, if we had any trouble getting the paperwork, if we had any questions, and to just call and let her know when the appointment was so that she had peace of mind....and that she would be praying for us. We LOVE our pediatrician.

So we are now all set for Monday's appointment - at least paperworkwise. Our brains are catching up.

But how sad is it that Miss Pear can say both cardiologist and orthopedic specialist.

Today we are spending the day putting up the tree with a brief interlude to run to Joanne's and CVS for baskets on sale and diapers on sale. And then I am thinking buttermilk waffles for supper because maybe that will tempt Miss Pear's appetite (she has had a cold all week and is just off her game still).

Baby's Results

We got the results from Baby's hip ultrasound on Monday, and as suspected, she has hip dysplasia, and we are being referred to a specialist ASAP in the hopes that treatment can begin before everyone takes off for Christmas and the other holidays.

Christmas Shopping...

...is officially done!

Remember when I shared this list:

1. Get special cards and mail them ASAP - Ordered and mailed
   
2. Order stamps - Oops, still need to do this
   
3. Order picture Christmas cards, the picture was taken this morning (I have a 20% off coupon code for Kodak!) Ordered and awaiting arrival
   
4. Pick up a Christmas decoration for each of the girls' stockings (this is tradition, it is how our kids will have decorations for their own tree one year, each with a special story. The grandparents also send them, so each girl will get 3 a year). (Baby's special one with her name on it should be here any day now, but that one goes under the tree, she still gets a second one in her stocking) -Complete
   
5. Order one thing online for Mr. Pear - Complete
   
6. Mail some stuff. One more trip but the presents are wrapped, I just need to seal the boxes.
   

For me it is always easier when the shopping is all done, and everything that needs to be mailed is out the door.

Then I can focus on decorating, reading Christmas stories, baking, and wrapping presents for our girls! (Even though we don't go overboard at Christmas, wrapping still takes a while because I LOVE it! Why yes, I do make my own bows, why do you ask?)

Before the picture cards are delivered I do have to still write the Christmas letter. I have to confess that I have not started. I cannot figure out how much of the medical yuck to share with our family and friends. I don't want to dump on them, but also want to share what is going on in our lives. I guess I will figure it out. Any ideas for me?

Most years I buy special Christmas paper for the letter. This year I am planning on just stamping the letters with a nativity set I have. Nice and simple, but meaningful - plus I already have everything here!

No News Today

I had been holding out hope that we would hear Baby's results today, but when I called to follow up I found out that our doctor was out today (she takes Wednesdays in lieu of the time she works in Urgent Care if she is working there that week), but it would not have mattered if she was in because the results have not been sent over yet. Sigh.

The lady who I talked to was so sweet, she followed up by checking the latest faxes just to be sure, and said that if she did not have it by 4:30 she would call the hospital to send it over (again).

So hopefully it will be on our doctor's office first thing in the morning tomorrow.

The push for us is to get things rolling so that if we have to see a specialist that we can get the treatment started before the Christmas and other holidays start closing offices.

If we have to have treatments we would just as soon get them going ASAP so that we can be finished that much sooner!

Mental hiccup

It was a long morning, even breaking out the Christmas books did not help for some reason - probably because Miss Pear is exhausted and Baby is a bit out of sorts from yesterday.

So now with them both down I started reading stuff in the news and bloglines as a mental break, and wanted to share the good stuff with you. Keeping in mind the long morning I had, just humor me if it is not really that good or funny.

Did you ever wonder how much the 12 days of Christmas would cost? Apparently we all should have invested in that, it's value is up 10.9% year over year!

Life as Mom is contemplating a simpler Christmas.

Blogger is being mean and randomly posting this without me hitting post.

Donetta has a wonderful post for the Precious Promise this week, and another excellent one about prayer that I intend to go back and read again.

Jen wrote about Intentional Christmas Traditions, and while the accidental ones are fun, we long for the meaningful ones!

The DHM at the Common Room had an excellent post about the out of control materialism of Christmas. We will just ignore the fact that I had to go to Target to buy Miss Pear a Cabbage Patch Doll because they were on sale for $19, are the 25th anniversary edition, and that I was given one the very first year they were available.

This all distracted me from waiting for the phone to ring with Baby's results, for which I am thankful. I will distract myself further with cookies.....

Bloggy Goodness

There were a few great things I came across that I wanted to share - and this time I am determined to remember to tell you!

Advent coloring page! (HT to Alexandra)

I am ready to start my freezer cooking again, and came across this at the Common Room. An excellent read! And a tale of caution that has no need in my family I am thankful to say!

I loved this post about looking for Jesus at Christmas as hard as we look for a lost ring.

There are many more, but I hear a little one starting to wake up, and I figure actually posting 3 is better than none at all! (Little goals, more checked off the list!)

Baby's Ultrasound...

...went okay. She did great.

We will know more probably Wednesday or Thursday, and will let you know what we can.

Until then I will be praying like crazy. And while we do pray about this with Miss Pear at her level, in front of her (and Baby too) it will be a kind of stiff upper lip or laugh so you don't cry thing until we know more.

Kind of the mommy version of "la-la-la I can't hear you!"

Or to roughly quote Therese of Avila "I see you fear, but my eyes are on God."

Baby Pear's Ultrasound

If you think of it today, could you please pray for Baby Pear? She has her hip ultrasound to check for hip dysplaysia today at 3 PM California time. And it is pretty obvious there is something there all of a sudden. We are praying that ideally it would be something that could be stretched and exercised out, but most importantly for complete healing and correct treatment right away.

I realize that in the scheme of things this is not the biggest of deals, but at 11.5 weeks she has been through so much that the thought of this is heart breaking.

And if you could please pray that the Lord would give us wisdom and strength, that would help so much.

Thank you for the encouraging notes and for all the prayer, they mean very much to us, and we can say with all honesty that it is the Lord alone who is helping us right now because it has just been a bit too much.